In my previous post on true femininity, we talked about the counterfeits of godly women in our world today, but how does the Bible describe what a godly woman should be in her feminine form? What are some practical steps in drawing closer to the biblical definition of a woman?
Submits to Her Husband
Ephesians 5:22-28 and 33 says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself [. . . ] However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Wives must submit to their husbands. This is not a mistranslation. A woman who submits to her husbands is not controlling and makes all of the decisions. She knows her and her husband are a team. No one dominates the other. Yes, men are the leaders of the home, but that does not mean that women have no say. By submitting to our husbands we’re also submitting to God. This does NOT include abuse of any kind. The Bible says to submit, but it also says to guard yourself (Eph. 6:4; Prov. 22:10; Psa. 11:5; Col. 3:19; Jas. 4:1-17). If you want to learn more about submitting to your husband, read my previous post about it here.
Respects and Honors Men
True equality doesn’t mean that each person has the same talents, abilities, or opportunities. True equality is an acknowledgment of the fact that people have other abilities, talents, and opportunities, but they do not look down on one who doesn’t have the same. It’s recognizing that we’re all different, but that doesn’t mean one is superior over another. Godly women respect the men in their lives and acknowledge the fact that there are some things men can do that women can’t. God didn’t make men and women the same, but different. Encouraging our men with praise for the work that they do to help us or we cannot do ourselves boosts their confidence. “As women, we are created to build men up, not tear them down. This doesn’t mean we lower our standards and accept mediocrity. Rather, it means that we motivate guys to rise up to the standard of Christ through words and attitudes of encouragement instead of disgust” (Ludy, 56).* Godly women don’t treat their husbands like slaves, making them hold their purses so they don’t have to, ordering to carry things when it’s convenient for her and not for him, or making fun of them in public or behind their backs. In fact, the Bible warns men to stay away from women like that: “It’s better to live on a corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome woman” (Prov. 21:9) and “Her husband has full confidence in [his wife] and lacks nothing of value” (Prov. 31:11). We want our men to come home and spend time with us. Not avoid us by sleeping on the couch!
Finds Her Worth in Christ Alone
Consider Ruth. She lost everything that mattered to her. She lost her husband, her security, her homeland, and chose to follow and take care of her mother-in-law, Naomi. How the heck did she get through all of that? Well, when she followed Naomi to her homeland, she was determined to worship the same God as Naomi did (Ruth 1:10-18). She trusted in the Lord, was obedient, didn’t think about finding a husband, and all the while she’s doing hard labor for small amounts of leftover grain. She couldn’t have done that without God. She found her purpose to be a servant to others through her daily prayer with the Lord. She knew she had to keep going even if that meant she had to give up her dreams of love and a family. But even in the midst of all of that, she fell in love with the Almighty God. By the time Boaz came into her life, she had already gave her security and dreams the Lord. That is a reason why she is the only woman mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus (Matt.1)! True femininity is knowing where your beauty comes from: God. She knew whom she belonged to despite her circumstances telling her differently. Her worth wasn’t based on temporary things, but on God.
Knows Her Bible and Prays Daily
To embody true femininity, you must know where the definition of it comes from and who created it. A woman who doesn’t have conversations with her Creator daily in prayer nor knows the Word of the Lord, has no everlasting basis of where her femininity comes from. To be feminine is to be godly and if you don’t know the words of Jesus and don’t spend time in prayer, how can you become truly feminine? The Lord has given his daughters grace, elegance, radiant joy, talents, skills, abilities, beautiful smiles, alluring eyes, and tender hearts. Know His purpose for these gifts! The God of all creation love you and sees you as His princess. A princes doesn’t shirk her duty to her people or to her king and neither do we. “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of Truth (2 Tim. 2:15).” “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Pet. 3:3-4). If the so-called feminists listed in the previous post knew their Savior, knew His Word, and took up their cross daily, they would not be acting like they’re acting.
Notice how barely talked about clothing, make up, and hair. That’s because femininity doesn’t come from those things. Today, women flaunt their bodies, scream for the right to kill their own children because it’s “better” for their bodies, hurl insults at men and one another, and arrogantly believe that the world would be better if men were slaves to women or that men shouldn’t exist at all. That is not true femininity. Those statements and actions are from the devil. None of those represent God’s command to love one another above oneself. To have true femininity it to be a godly woman who knows her Savior and takes up her cross daily in order to be a helper of others.
Ladies, it’s time to stand up to the wayward women of our day and start loving men for who they are in Christ with encouragement and respect. Let’s honor ourselves and our Lord by the way we treat people and treat ourselves. We are daughters of the King! So let’s walk like it, talk like it, and act like it.
*Some quotes and information are from Leslie Ludy’s book Answering the Guy Questions.