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How do you know? How do you know? How do you really know?

Ah, the questions that are supposed to bring clarity but make us more confused.

I asked our guest speaker in chapel today how she knew her husband was “the one” and her answer didn’t surprise me at all: “I just knew.”

What did surprise me was her husband’s response to the same question: “She made me feel like no one had done before. She made me smile in a way that I didn’t think possible.”

Cue the sighs.

I was always told that my future husband and I would be told at the exact same time that we would be each other’s future spouse, but that wasn’t the case for our guest speaker and her husband.

They met each other freshman year of college and dated throughout all four years. He knew a year into the relationship that she was the girl for him. Her, on the other hand, didn’t realize he was a keeper until year 3.

I left the conversation more confused than ever.

The most important decision in our lives is if we accept Christ or not; the second is when we choose our spouse. The latter affecting our relationship with Christ.

I don’t want to mess this up and it’s terrifying. I trust God, but I certainly don’t trust myself. And, by golly, I’m impatient; I want to be married now.

*Silently sobs like a four-year-old*

When the Lord created me, he put only a dash of patience and a tub-full of dreams. Can y’all relate?

I know my last post was on “The Single Gift” and how we should enjoy our undistracted time with God, but what I didn’t talk about was the period in between: the uncomfortable silence.

A friend once told me, “if you needed an answer right now, God would give it to you.” My response was, “well thanks, bud. That really cheered me up.”

My sassy level has risen lately.

If God isn’t telling you yes or no, or even not yet, my question for you to ask yourself is this: where’s your heart?

My heart? It’s sinking because it wants someone to love right here, right now. My heart is only thinking about romantic relationships and what I can gain from them. My heart can’t see past the waiting and silence. My heart only has selfish motives.

And I wonder why God hasn’t brought me my future husband yet.

Love is not for the weak. We have to be strong enough to let all of our desires go to the wayside in order to lift another’s desires up. If my heart is in the state of wanting and not giving, then I have a long way to go because that is not what marriage is about.

So, the next time we ask ourselves “how do we know when we have found ‘the one,’” we need to ask ourselves “where is our heart” because when we finally come to the cross and put all of our time, all of our effort, and all of our lives into searching for Jesus and it stays there, that’s when we will know. That’s when God will give us a clear answer.

It’s easier said than done, but, ladies, you’re not alone.

Matthew 6:21 says, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” If all we want from life is a relationship so we can enjoy the warm fuzzies we get when we’re in a romantic relationship, then as the intelligent Ron Weasly stated, “she needs to straighten out her priorities,”

God is constantly beckoning us to give Him our hearts and let our eyes delight in His ways (Proverbs 23:26).

I challenge all of us to let go and let God do His work. When we’re struggling and wish for the comfort of a romantic relationship, I pray that we’ll ask ourselves what’s our motivation and turn it over to the One who loves us perfectly.

God bless,

M.A.

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